People have a lot of opinions about what I do, most of them formed by films that got it wrong. So let me set a few things straight. Here are five of the most stubborn myths about this work – and what’s actually true.

Myth one: it’s all glamour

The fantasy is endless champagne and red carpets. The reality is a lot of trains, a lot of waiting, comfortable shoes hidden in a bag, and the unglamorous discipline of always being on time. There’s beauty in it, yes – but it’s a job, with all the ordinary effort any job demands.

Myth two: there are no boundaries

People assume the whole point is that anything goes. The opposite is true. This work runs on boundaries – clear ones, stated plainly and respected on both sides. Far from being a grey area, it’s often more honest about limits than ordinary dating ever is.

Myth three: it’s only about the obvious

If I had a coin for every evening that was really about conversation, company or simply not being alone, I’d retire tomorrow. So much of this is about presence and attention. The obvious is a small part of a much larger, more human picture.

Myth four: the people are all the same

There is no “type.” I’ve met shy engineers and loud entrepreneurs, the recently heartbroken and the simply curious. Lumping them together is lazy. Every person who sits across from me arrives with a different story, and that variety is the most interesting part.

Myth five: you must lose yourself in it

The biggest myth of all is that you disappear into the role. The truth is the exact reverse: you have to stay firmly yourself. Knowing who you are and what you will and won’t do is the whole foundation. Lose that, and nothing else works.

The takeaway

Most myths about this job survive because they’re more entertaining than the truth. But the reality – ordinary effort, clear boundaries, real human connection and a strong sense of self – is, to me, far more interesting than the fantasy ever was.